I'll steer clear of the geritol & prune shake jokes as
UFC 109 ushers in one of the oldest fight cards of all time...if not ever. *Sorry to lazy to look up the stats. As age old Randy "Macho Man......, er sorry, Couture takes on Mark "cry's like a japanese girl during sex" Coleman. Here's the full card for this Saturday's event...
MAIN CARD
- Mark Coleman vs. Randy Couture
- Nate Marquardt vs. Chael Sonnen
- Mike Swick vs. Paulo Thiago
- Demian Maia vs. Dan Miller
- Matt Serra vs. Frank Trigg
PRELIMINARY CARD (Spike TV)
- Justin Buchholz vs. Mac Danzig
- Melvin Guillard vs. Ronnys Torres
PRELIMINARY CARD (Un-aired)
- Rob Emerson vs. Phillipe Nover
- Phil Davis vs. Brian Stann
- Tim Hague vs. Chris Tuchscherer
- Joey Beltran vs. Rolles Gracie
Ok I'll get right to it...What slaps me in the face off this card you ask? Well, there's a lot of good technical fights on this card, but seriously...it's the old man fight of
Couture vs Colman. I mean seriously here. I'm not exactly sure what it is about this match up but for some reason I feel like I'm about to sit through a Bum Fights brawl. Don't know if it's the aged skin, the missing teeth, the swollen noses or the oddly veiny foreheads, but this just feels like it's going to be a slow ass fight with lots of "1 swing into a clinch" type of movement. I wouldn't be surprised if Coleman pulls out a dirty brown bag 40 and hits Randy over the head with it.
A very interesting aspect of this card is that the 4 guys who fought each other last, are doe-see-doe'ing and switching partners this time around. It's like a swingers version of MMA. Next thing you know the UFC will take 8 fighters, put blind folds on them, and walk them into a cage where they can have unabridged, uninhibited, and filthy filthy sex with complete strangers. Uhhhh, wait....I meant they will fist fight each other. Yes, fisticuffs will be had. So Nate Marquardt taught Damian Maia how to fly with 1 punch in their last fight, meanwhile Chael Sonnen put the grounding into Dan Miller. Now the two losers will battle each other in
Maia vs Miller, while the two winners,
Marquardt vs Sonnen will fight undoubtedly to face Anderson Silva. Oh whoops, I mean "the winner of Anderson Silva vs Vitor Belfort". No, F that, I meant Anderson Silva.
After the lovers quarrel the next bit of interest comes in the shape of a Gracie being back in the octagon that their family created. This time, it's not the small framed version, it's a full blown stocky Heavyweight,
Rolles Gracie. This Gracie is actually 6' 4" and weighs in at around 240lbs. Big kid huh? And get this, he's taking on a guy nicknamed
The Mexicutioner, Joey Beltran. Haha, I can't make this crap up folks! Now being of half 'brown' decent myself, I actually get to laugh and make fun of this. Well, half of me does anyway. The Mexicutioner hahahahahaha! Stupid. Anyway, it will be cool to hear a Gracie name in the UFC again. I really have no idea how this fight will go, but seeing as how things normally play out these days, Rolles will stand toe to toe and never once try for a sub. Which will just pretty much piss me off.
The second Bum Fights at this event will be held by
Matt Serra vs. Frank Trigg. I think it's a pretty safe bet that the loser of this fight, goes home. Though with Serra's video blog, maybe that means Dana will just keep him around as the court jester.
There's some other fights too, like
Mac Danzig who I really like, but will probably go back down to King Of The Cage if he loses, and
Phillipe "I don't even need you to hit me to take a nap"
Nover making his anticipated return (if he can stay awake long enough).
All in all it should be a good card I think, even though there's nothing there that's got me super pumped up. I mean other than seeing how Couture & Coleman's cornermen utilize their heart defibrillators and empty their catheters after the rounds. Hopefully no loses control of their bowls at least.
